So I’m wondering if there is any serious websites/apps where good quality poker takes place. I live in California so playing for money which would automatically make it a serious is not a option due to it being illegal playing online poker for $. Any recommendations on where (website or app) I can play and try to get some serious reps in?
submitted by DCNext Proudly Presents…! Written by Fortanono Edited by dwright5252, UpinthatBuckethead, AdamantAce << Previous | Next >> ≈≈≈≈≈ 🔱 ≈≈≈≈≈
A man stood with an assault rifle in hand, ready to fire at any second. Cisco tracked his movements from the rooftop of one of the low-hanging cafe buildings, preparing a blast of energy if needed. People panicked around the man, who covered his face with--as Cisco had expected--a giant Green Lantern mask.
“This guy’s wearing the kid’s mask,” Cisco snarled to the giant Dan Cassidy, who was standing beside him. “The other Green Lantern dude.”
“I would have thought that was to be expected, considering their whole Green Lantern schtick. Hold on one sec,” Dan said, pausing the thought in order to conjure a portal in front of the gunman’s line of fire. On Cisco’s other side, another portal opened, which rained bullets upwards and back down again like a fountain. The man tried to shift his angle, but Dan made sure that the portal tracked his movements.
“
Courtney, Anissa,” Curtis’ voice rang through their comms. “
Now’s your time to jump in front of him. Anissa, try to twist his gun barrel before he can do anything else.”
As the heroine known as Stargirl jumped in front of the man and Thunder surrounded him from behind, Cisco returned to his train of thought. “The Green Lantern betrayed us all,” he said, biting his lip. “The real one, I mean. It doesn’t matter what they do to his image. But the kid Lantern, he was a victim of the attack. You don’t see Communists using a starving Vlatavan kid for their calls to action.”
Anissa grabbed and twisted the man’s assault rifle as he tried to leave, but the man was able to dodge her and Stargirl and take off. He would’ve gotten away if he hadn’t tripped over his own foot onto the concrete. The man sighed in pain, breathing heavily, as Courtney carried him over her shoulder into Dan’s prison portal.
“Reflex manipulation,” Dan smirked. “Gotta love it. When a villain’s getting away, you can just… make him fall.”
Cisco and Dan portaled down to the ground level where Anissa and Courtney were meeting them.
“So, should we get back to High Command?” Courtney asked.
“Couldn’t think of anywhere better I’d like to be,” Anissa laughed. “Honestly, though, anywhere with comfy chairs.
Anywhere.”
“Wish granted,” Dan laughed, opening one last portal. Ray Terrill lay on an indoor beach chair in their lobby on the other side of the jump, reading some sort of romance novel. “We’re back,” Dan said.
“Okay, cool,” Ray sighed. “Guess I’m on active watch then. Ah, better put some pants on.” He got up and walked to the bathroom.
A knock on the door was heard almost immediately after they had settled down. “Hang on, I’ll get it,” Cisco said, as everyone had settled in. Josiah stood on the other side with a yellow-orange envelope in hand.
“Hey, hey, hey!” Josiah bellowed. “Congrats on the save! I better get out to enjoy the sun at some point today, considering that it never lasts long here in California. Storm might be outta get ya at any moment!”
“Hey Josiah,” Courtney said weakly from the couch she had popped herself down on. “What’s new?”
“Not much, not much myself. You all?” Josiah welcomed himself further into the common room, and cleared his throat before continuing. “I do have a package here for one Anissa Pierce.”
“Ooh,” Anissa said, perking up from her chair. “I think I know what this is.” She took the package and pulled out a shiny plastic ID card.
Cisco walked over to her and looked. “Toni Isabella, huh? Isn’t that the name of some cartoonist?”
“I don’t know,” Anissa laughed. “I got it from on Toni Morrison, the author, and my Great Aunt Isabella, the two strongest women I know. Well, except for my mom and sister, but then it wouldn’t be much of a secret identity if I named myself after them.”
“Wow,” Cisco said. “What are you even gonna
use a fake ID for?”
Anissa chuckled to herself a bit. “Cisco, look around. There’s an actual New Coast community building up. People are living here, and I wanna interact with the world at large without people knowing I’m the President’s daughter. And there are a lot of great people here. Not everyone here is a gazillionaire, you know that, right?”
Josiah cleared his throat. “And I think now might be my cue to go,” he said, laughing heartily. “Just glad to pay a visit to my favorite heroes. Keep it up!”
As Josiah walked through the door, Cisco didn’t make eye contact with him. Josiah represented so much of what he hated, and now, he was working under him. He had better get the investigation started sooner than later, he thought.
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June 18th, 2015 “Everett won’t be a problem anymore,” Dante Ramon remarked as he walked into the building, carrying his railgun. His brother, Cisco, tagged behind, standing as if a shadow in Dante’s wake. “We’ve given his men enough of a warning not to intervene in your affairs.”
“Fantastic,” a gentle voice came out of the shadows. They watched as Dr. Neal Emerson, better known as Coast City’s preeminent crime boss, Dr. Polaris, walked out in his clunky metal exosuit. “Tourist season is coming up, and I don’t wanna have anyone stopping my profits. You know, you two boys are some of the best enforcers I have around here. Pat yourselves on the back for that.”
The three men stood in an old gas station, one that hadn’t been active for probably three years by now. Neal had turned it into his own personal lab, and machines that neither Dante nor Cisco could begin to understand lined every surface. Tesla coils adorned the walls--or, at least, Cisco thought that that was what they were, but he didn’t know enough to say--and suits of Neal’s iconic Polaris armor lay on stands where the drink refrigerators likely were.
“Thank you, Sir,” Dante said, beaming with pride. “But little Cisco was too afraid to get his hands dirty. What’s the deal with having a railgun on the bleeding edge of illegal weapons technology if you’re not gonna shoot it? I mean, come
on.”
“Now, now,” Neal sighed. He lifted himself about an inch off the ground in his suit, as if testing a new feature of the model. “Francisco’s a great man in his own regard. Not everyone has to make killing their way in life, even if he’s in a business where that’s our bread and butter a lot of the time. We can all find our own ways. I always wanted to unlock the secrets of the universe, but pay is scarce when researching such topics like that. I found a different way to make my money to provide for my experiments. And I’m sure Cisco could do the same in our business.”
Dante snarled. “He’s a
liability,” he said through gritted teeth. “Sad fact is, Everett and his men are the type that don’t care what kind of moral code people have. He’s gonna be dead in the street someday, and then I dunno what I’ll have to live for.” His tone softened a little bit. “I just wanna protect my baby brother,” he muttered.
With all of the commotion going on, Cisco was too scared to speak for himself.
Neal did not skip a beat in continuing to impart wisdom on them. He had always joked about being ‘the most thoughtful crime boss,’ and Cisco kind-of thought that was true. “I understand,” he said. “I have a sister myself, and would be completely lost if something happened to her. Even so, Francisco is his own man, and as hard as it is to admit it at this level, his refusal to kill is very much workable. That’s why I have a proposition for you. I’ve been waiting to bring this up, but my experiments have yielded a new discovery. A peephole into the swirling energies of the cosmos, and a way to bathe in them. If my experiments prove to work, you and your brother will have the power to manipulate the seismic energies of the Earth herself.”
“Ooh,” Dante said. “Shiny. Count me in.”
Cisco finally nodded and spoke up. “Yeah, that seems cool. I guess I’ll try it. So would I be a metahuman then?”
“If you wish,” Neal said. “It’s just a label, but the short answer is that yes, you would possess powers most people could not.” He snapped his fingers and theatrically raised his voice before continuing. “Follow me,” he said, “and I’ll show you the
secrets of the universe!”
They walked into what was once the gas station stockroom, and Neal pulled a dusty plastic cover off of two human-sized pods. Pressing a button on a nearby console, the glass opened up and allowed for Cisco and Dante to enter. They each stepped into one of the pods.
The glass door closed, and from there, Cisco didn’t quite know what happened. He seemed to fall into a hole at the bottom, and he was then surrounded by a kaleidoscope of blue vortexes. Cisco turned to his left and glimpsed Dante in freefall through the dimension as well. It was exhilarating at first, but quickly, Cisco began to develop a headache, and started to hear a faint ringing in his ears. And he just stayed there for what seemed like minutes. When Cisco felt as if he could no longer take it, he was flushed out and resurfaced in the tubes. He and Dante seemed to both be panting, as if they had lost their breath in the dimension.
“What the fuck was that?” Dante gasped.
Neal smiled a knowing smile. The ground that the gas station stood on began to audibly shake. “A necessary procedure, but not one I expected to be so grueling. Either way, Coast City is soon going to say hello to my two newest agents, Vibe and Reverb.”
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“Hey, Curtis?” Cisco said as he walked into Room 103. “Can we talk in private for a bit? Considering there’s no threat going on right now.”
Curtis swung his rotating chair around to meet Cisco. “Yeah, sure. What’s the situation?”
“Okay, this has to remain in complete secrecy.” Cisco fiddled with his fingers as he walked in before closing the door. “Mr. Terrific was always about fair play, right? Like, ‘no one should be above the law’ and ‘someone needs to stand up for the little guy’ and all that?”
“Yeah, I believe he was,” Curtis chuckled. “Michael would always take down the big billionaires. I told him that it’d just be simpler to stop street crimes and stuff, but he was adamant that corrupt businessmen needed to answer to someone.” He laughed heartily. Cisco did not laugh with him.
Cisco’s voice began to lower to a whisper. “Okay, so, look. You might know that I was once a staunch voice
against this whole development. Right before the development moved from the ruins of Coast City to the new place, Josiah contacted me about the team offer. That was four months ago, and the whole thing was built so incredibly quickly.”
Curtis nodded a bit. “Yeah? And you think that means… what, exactly?”
“I think Josiah’s not been entirely honest with how the construction took place. There are too many things that seem just a bit off about this whole place. And I want to investigate it. It all just seems too…
neat.”
Curtis stood up from his seat and laughed a little. “So you want me to help you incriminate my new boss. Well, I guess life wasn’t insane enough right now, so it just decided to throw me a curveball.”
“Are you going to help or not?” Cisco muttered. “You’re the only one that could get the records for New Coast’s construction.”
Curtis paused for a few seconds before answering. “Okay, fine, yeah, I’m in,” he said. “But if it gets too hairy, I’m gonna be bailing out. I don’t want to get in any crazy trouble.”
“Fine with me,” Cisco muttered, smiling just a little.
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Anissa stretched out on her bed, still in her costume. Supposedly, she was still going to be on active patrol if something happened, but she definitely enjoyed her rest quite a bit. She lessened her muscle density a bit to let herself breathe.
Helga walked into her bedroom with a dark contenance on her face. “There’s trouble,” she muttered. “Cisco and Curtis are off doing their own thing, so we’ll need all the help we can get.”
“Oh come
on,” Courtney moaned from the bed next to Anissa. “Why can’t Parallax just give us a
break?”
Helga swallowed and nodded. “Yes, well, this is a particularly nasty one. The
leader of Parallax seems to have just surfaced.”
“Okay, let’s go then,” Courtney said, standing up. She, too, had stayed in her uncomfortable American flag costume even though she’d still rather be wearing Starman’s colors.
The three of them got in a secret elevator alongside Ray, Dan and Commander Steel, which led them all down to Room 103. Josiah was already there, waiting for them.
“This one might be a bit harder than some of the others,” he muttered. None of his usual character was present in his voice. He pressed a button, which flipped on one of the larger screens in the room.
“This was posted onto ViewTube about an hour ago. Was taken down, but we were able to archive it,” Josiah said.
On the screen stood a man in a red-and-blue face mask. “
Greetings,” the man said through a voice modulator. “
My name is Polaris. You have seen my supporters in your city, trying to break your false town, taking their appearance after a man who was once Coast City’s greatest hero. I, myself, take after another prominent figure in Coast City. One who was known as a villain, but one who was far more than a simple cookie-cutter display of evil.”
He continued. “
There are three types of evil in the world, as I see it. The first is a purely destructive urge, a will to destroy. That type was exemplified by Amazo, the robot that decimated our home. The second type is not even all that evil; a thirst for vengeance, a mission of revenge that can only be settled in evil ways. That is where I fall, as did Hal Jordan. The third is the type that is the most insidious, the most nuanced. Evil for purely personal gain. Some considered Dr. Polaris to be here. Another individual that falls here is Josiah Power.”
“
I have set up several magnetic bombs throughout Fearless Towers,” Polaris concluded. “
If Josiah Power is not delivered to me by 8 PM tonight, the twin symbols of the New Coast skyline will become ash and dust.”
Helga looked out the window of the room, where she could just barely see the peaks of the tall, gargantuan Fearless Towers in the center of New Coast. “Alright, let’s get there,” she said. “Anissa, Commander Steel, I need you two to personally guard Josiah, make sure that he’s safe. The rest of you, follow Dan to take on Polaris.”
As Dan opened a portal into the offices of Fearless Towers to take on Polaris, neither party knew that a third group was present in the area.
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“I get why we aren’t doing the hacking in Room 103,” Cisco began. “But why come all the way out
here?”
Curtis nodded and smiled. “Well, for one, there aren’t any offices that've been set up in Fearless Towers just yet. Josiah’s only gonna open the building in a month. For two, considering that I manage the network, I should know that the processing power in here is tremendous. We can decrypt
anything here.”
The offices of Fearless Towers were pristine and white, with cubicles and computers monotonously placed all the way through the floor. It was, however, a nice change of scenery compared to the plastic-wood look of the Polynesia Resort and High Command. Curtis sat down at one of the cubicles and began using the computer.
“This won’t take too long,” Curtis said. “But keep watch anyway.”
Across the divide separating the two structures, Dan, Ray and Courtney portaled into the heart of the second tower, which looked identical to the other one.
“Are you sure that we’re in the right place?” Ray asked.
Helga’s voice rang from the station at Room 103. “
Yes,” she said. “
The magnetic signatures of the bombs show up in this particular office section in Fearless Towers. They’re placed carefully, so that this tower will collapse the other one as well.”
“Well, then,” Courtney said, “where’s Polaris?”
Before anyone else spoke, Courtney’s new metallic suit--the one that she didn’t even want to wear in the first place--was dragged into a corner of the room.
“Right here,” the deepened voice of Polaris muttered. The figure came out of one corner of the offices, where a busted light concealed him, followed by four armed figures in Green Lantern masks. “So you’re the Instagram hero starlet,” he remarked. “Do you even
care about heroics behind that video screen of yours?”
“That’s rich coming from you, Mr. ViewTube Terrorist.”
The exchange was cut off by Ray dashing in to separate the two of them. “That’s
enough,” he shouted, tackling Polaris. Meanwhile, Dan portaled the four armed men into the New Coast prison, along with three bombs somewhere else, although nobody exactly saw where he took them.
“I think you’ve missed something important,” Polaris muttered. “Those bombs were never the real danger. I
am the magnet.” And from there, strands of magnetic energy began flowing towards his hands, ready to fight.
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“Hrmm,” Curtis said, staring at the screen at the other tower. “There seems to be some sort of magnetic interference. The computers are going haywire.”
“But you’ve got it under control, right?” Cisco muttered. “It’s no biggie; there are other days when we can grab our research.”
“Yeah,” Curtis remarked. “Seems to me that he’s been paying a mysterious company called ‘13th Floor Construction.’ Only they don’t seem to exist anywhere else.”
Cisco stomped his foot and laughed. “I
knew it!” he said. “Finally, we got what we’re looking for! So, can you download the data?”
“Working on it,” Curtis said. But just then, the computer shut off. “Wait, something seems to have happened here.”
Cisco ran to look out the window. Ray was flying around outside, closely followed by the figure of someone in a metal mask. A mask that was clearly inspired by Neal Emerson.
“There’s trouble,” Cisco said. He pulled a duffel bag from underneath one of the desks. Inside was his Vibe costume, neatly folded up for easy storage. “Let’s rock.”
In the commotion that the two of them had just witnessed, Ray was getting a little bit tired of flying around. Dan stood on the bridge between the two towers, summoning portals to bring Polaris closer to Ray’s light beams when he could. He had just portaled Courtney to Room 103 once again to grab some meta-cuffs for Polaris.
“You will not defeat me,” Polaris snarled. “Once again, America’s ‘heroes’ are on the wrong side of history.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Ray smirked. “Enough with that already.” But Ray could not seem to scratch Polaris’ armored suit.
Just then, from Dan’s side, a blue bolt of vibrational energy hit Polaris’ mask and broke it off. The leader was much younger than any of them had expected. But Cisco knew his face.
“Dante?” he asked.
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October 23rd, 2015 “Doctor Polaris sends his regards!” Dante shouted in the scientists’ faces. “He needs your research for his own project. That’s how science works, isn’t it? We
share?” The university building began to shake as Dante cast his bluish energy directly into the ground. On the other side of the room, Cisco stood guard at the door. He was prepared for any police officers that would be dispatched to their location. The Green Lantern was off in space last he heard, so nothing could stop this attack from…
“Hey, this is the futuristic weapons research convention, right?”
Guess we miscalculated, Cisco thought as Hal Jordan lowered himself through the window of the research lab. He held up his right hand, brandishing the Power Ring of his corps.
“See, cause if that’s what this is, I’ve brought a little showcase.”
“Get your little green ass out of our way,” Dante said, blasting him. The Lantern countered by forming a giant green screen door as a shield. Somehow, this angered Dante even more than if he had just blocked it. Because now, the Green Lantern was taunting him.
“I’ll be taking
these two to safety, thank you,” Hal said, conjuring an emerald forklift to put them back on the ground floor. “Tell Doctor Polaris that I send him my sincerest regards.”
Before Cisco and Dante knew it, green bubbles were bringing them out of the way, and towards the Coast City Police Department. Dante was let down in front of a pair of meta-dampening handcuffs and a fleet of police cars. But Cisco floated further forward into the university campus.
Hal let Cisco off at the top of a university roof. “I just wanna talk,” he said. “My ring is letting out the same energy as those meta-cuffs your brother has on, so don’t try anything sneaky with me.”
“Why… why’d you bring me here?” Cisco asked weakly.
“Because, Cisco,” Hal said, “you’re not a bad kid. You haven’t killed a single person, and it seems like you’re only in the game because your brother’s encouraging you.”
“I can think for myself,” Cisco groaned. “I don’t need a talking-to from you.”
“As fair as that may be, it would be disingenuous for anyone to say their loved ones didn’t have an impact on them. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost mine. I might just lose it,” Hal laughed. “That being said, you are unfortunately going to have to go to jail. My guess is about 8 months, but when you get out, please consider another way. I never like seeing kids like you go down this rabbit-hole; it’s not pretty.”
“Just put me back down already,” Cisco protested. And so Hal did.
As he was being escorted out, Cisco wondered if maybe, just maybe, he could be the man the Lantern wanted him to be.
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“I thought you were
dead,” Cisco spat. “You were in the penitentiary when Coast City went up in flames.”
Dante Ramon dodged beams from Ray and Cisco, as the fight perpetuated across the bridge of the towers. “And you were, what was it, a couple miles out of town when the robot destroyed everything? We’re survivors, Cisco. Don’t pretend like it’s not true.”
Dan, summoning another portal below the now-unmasked Polaris, turned to Cisco. “What is your brother talking about, exactly?”
“I don’t know,” Cisco lied. He paused. “Your powers changed. How’d that happen?”
Dante laughed. “I can’t exactly say I know that myself. I was just thinking a lot about our old mentor, and then suddenly, I felt a shift. And now, I can control magnetism just like he does. Pretty neat change, I must say.”
“
Courtney’s just gotten ahold of the metahuman dampener cuffs,” Helga said over the microphone. “
I’ve also switched her out to her old suit so Polaris wouldn’t be able to use her. Dan, portal her back into the fight.”
Dan summoned a portal once again, and Courtney jumped out, this time in her red-and-green hooded costume that she had wanted to wear for so long.
“Alrighty,” Courtney said. “I got ‘im.” She held out the meta-cuffs and Ray came down to grab them. After a quick chase, Ray caught up to Dante and grabbed his two wrists to cuff him.
“Cisco!” Dante shouted. “You love your brother, right? And you’d free him no matter what the costs? Right?”
Cisco stammered and paused for a second as Ray flew him back to the bridge. “Yes, Dante, I do love you. But I absolutely hate the man you’ve become. And if it takes prison to get my brother back, then it’d be best for the both of us if you do your time.”
“Ouch, that’s a crying shame,” he sighed. “Too bad I demagnetized the cuffs when I got the chance.” The team watched as Dante broke out of the cuffs and began flying off.
“Don’t worry, I’ll get him,” Ray said gruffly and flew off, but was caught by a beam of magnetism that knocked him into a third floor window of the East Tower. Courtney, Dan and Cisco watched as Ray’s body shattered the window, their mouths agape.
Dante smirked as he took off. “Oh, and by the way, I should tell you. The walls of this city are lined with circuits. I can sense it; it’s fucking bizarre. Perhaps something for you all to look into!”
And with that, the team could no longer see Dante Ramon as he sped off into the horizon.
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Helga was waiting for the team at Room 103, along with Josiah, Anissa and Commander Steel, who were playing cards at a table in the corner. Dan, Courtney and Cisco walked out and met them in the room.
“We lost him,” Cisco snarled. “Dammit! I had one job, and I lost him!”
“No need to berate yourself,” Josiah said. “You folks did a mighty fine job out there. And it turns out, Commander Steel is a great poker player!”
“The secret is having a mask that covers your entire face,” the metal soldier said monotonously.
“We’ll get the guy next time,” Josiah continued, standing up. “No rush.”
Helga cleared her throat and spoke up. “And where, exactly, is Raymond?”
“Right here,” a voice came from the hallway as Ray Terrill opened the door, bandages around his knee. “Turns out, Curtis was there too checking on some of the machinery. He patched me up with one of those first-aid kits on the walls.”
“You would’ve been fine on your own,” Curtis said, having been standing behind Ray. “It was only a few minor scrapes. A miracle for a fall of that height.”
“Alrighty, everyone’s fine. That’s great,” Courtney said. “I feel like we’re ignoring the elephant in the room here. Cisco, Dante said you were
at Coast City when everything went down?”
Cisco nodded. “Yes, I was. The story I told people was that I was gambling on a trip to Vegas when I heard the news. The truth is, I don’t even know why I’m still alive. One minute I was changing into my Vibe outfit in a public pool bathroom, the next, I’m at a truck stop in Nevada in full costume and Coast City is gone.”
Cisco choked back a tear. “I guess I lied about it,” he continued, “because… I didn’t want to admit that any of my family was still alive. Dante, my father, my aunts and uncles and cousins… I didn’t want to think that there was hope for any of them.”
“It’s fine,” Anissa finally spoke. “We all have those fresh wounds that we can’t touch. You’re safe here.” And with that, Anissa stood up and gave Cisco a big hug.
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April 17th, 2018 Cisco Ramon had been a Coast City hero for almost two whole years. And yet people still didn’t trust him.
He understood it, but he was a free man, and he’d have thought that the woman getting mugged would’ve been happy about it. At least no one was scared of him as Cisco Ramon. It was a miracle that the meta-prison hadn’t divulged his secret identity while he was there. His brother was still in the prison, which made sense considering how much more he had done. But Cisco still missed him. It was irrational, yes, but Dante was family. And Cisco did truly think that he could change.
He had just gotten lunch at Riviera’s, one of his favorite local delis. The people there knew his name, and they made the best Italian subs. He was planning on just going home, but he always carried his Vibe costume in a black duffel-bag in case he needed it. He carried the bag over his shoulder, noticing a fight between the Green Lantern and some sort of strange robot. The letters “A.M.A.Z.O” were carved along his chest. Cisco rushed to find a bathroom to change, quickly pinpointing the Freeman Recreational Pool out of the corner of his eye. As he ran towards the pool, he thought he noticed Superman flying towards the robot, but he shrugged it off.
Cisco ducked past the public showers and hid in a bathroom stall. He began putting on his suit. He rushed as he tried to fasten the last few buttons, knowing that this android meant business. And then, he saw a flash of red from above, seemingly consuming all it came through.
The roof started collapsing. Cisco rushed out and saw the kids in their bathing suits all badly burned and mutilated and unmistakeably
dead. He looked up, and realized that the android was causing all of what he had seen.
And then, a flash of blue, and a change of scenery.
Cisco found himself in front of a Big Belly Burger drive-thru. What had happened, he had no idea. He knew he wasn’t in Coast City, but the palm trees symbolized that he probably wasn’t far from it. Panting, he ran into the automatic doors of the restaurant, still wearing his mask and outfit.
“Where… where am I?” Cisco asked the young cashier at the front, her hair in a bun. “Am I anywhere near Coast City?”
“Oh my God,” the woman said, “Are you an actual superhero? I recognize you, you’re the Flash! No, wait… uh… Commander Steel! No… Wait! You’re Vibe, right?”
“Yeah, I am. Now where am I?”
The cashier blinked incredulously. “Goldfield, Nevada. We’re pretty close to Vegas, but nothing else, really. Probably a 5-hour drive if you wanna get back to--” Her phone, which was on the counter next to the register, vibrated. She picked it up. “Wait, you said you were from Coast City, right?”
“Yeah,” Cisco sighed. “What of it?”
The woman’s face quickly turned into a frown. “Well, I think I’ve got a little bit of bad news for you.”
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“Okay,” Curtis said, clearing his throat. He and Cisco stood in an alley behind the brick building of the New Coast Pizzeria, which hadn’t been opened yet. “This corner is one of the most sturdy ones, and the restaurant’s been having some delays in opening, so there’s no issue if it collapses. If there’s anywhere to prove that your brother’s not lying, it’s here.”
Cisco began readying his powers. “Stand back,” he said. “Don’t want you to get hurt.” Curtis did as he said, taking a few steps backwards as Cisco blasted the corner of the building.
The ground around Cisco and Curtis began to shake as the brick foundation gave way slightly. Curtis stood agape as a myriad of flashing lights and circuitry was revealed behind it. Metallic plating and wiring surrounded a glowing purple orb in the center of it.
“Woah,” Curtis said. “When he said that there was circuitry hidden underneath, I didn’t expect this. There’s nothing like this tech on the planet. I can’t even understand how complex this is.”
“Bingo,” Cisco shouted, pumping his fist in the air. “I
knew you were hiding something, Josiah!”
“Hold up. I’m not sure Josiah would know anything about this,” Curtis muttered nervously. “He doesn’t even understand Windows 7, let alone the stuff I use. Much less whatever the heck it is that I’m seeing here…”
Cisco nodded to himself. After a long pause, he turned to Cisco and spoke. His face was lit up slightly by the lavender glow of the newly-revealed secret of New Coast. “Yeah,” he said. “There’s no way Josiah knew about this. As much as I hate the guy, this is bigger than him.”
“Cisco,” Curtis said, putting his hand on his shoulder. “Until we find out more about whatever this is, we need to keep this in complete confidence from the others. The city is still under threat from Dante and Parallax, and we have no idea what this even means. We can’t afford to distract them from their duties.”
“Yeah,” Cisco sighed. “I suppose we do. Just the two of us. But we’re going to figure out what this is.”
submitted by Hey everyone, I'm Charice! Jim mentioned that he’s been sharing his experiences at Cerber with all of you and I have a fun one for you. Now that you know that Adeline has more money than god, but lacks the manpower. Advertising is hard when you’re trying to run a secret service in its own sorts. Anyway, Adeline assigned me to open the office in Birmingham Alabama, a known metro city in the south, saturated with the ghosts of civil war past and quite a bit of cicada mutations with a penchant for sweet tea. A decently lucrative location, untapped by Cerber or any other paranormal services, for that matter. No, ghost hunter guilds don’t count as paranormal service.
I’ll start by saying that I spoke with my [previous passengers]
https://www.reddit.com/DrCreepensVault/comments/8zj6wo/werewolves_are_assholes/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x about airing this out and not only did they agree to allow me to tell all of you, they informed me that they’re doing a similar outlet. Poor kids have had it rough. I mean, they’ve had it RUFF!
The scene is set somewhere close to Bessemer Alabama for a majority of the encounter. You’ll have to forgive me, I’m still learning the area, but the general vicinity had Bessemer in its radius. However, I was finished dropping off a shitty vampire in Tennessee when I got a ride request. I saddle up and make my way to them. I saw two ladies standing outside, one particularly voluptuous gal and another SUPER cute hipster chick. This was my pick up and I was excited to be of service.
I pull over, hop out of the car and chime, “Helloooo everyone! And who's my lucky passenger today?!” I exclaimed, walking up to the two ladies before me. "I hope it's you, cutie." I added with a tasteful and timeless wink.
"I, um... Heh?” Said the hipster chick with a shy disposition. Ugh she was adorable.
"What no, it's h-I mean yes and no. She made the request but I'm coming too." She added, pointing to her friend, causing said friend to groan.
"Oh, well lucky me!" I chirped. "Well, actually you're the lucky ones. Lucky I was already passing through to help open a new center down here, otherwise there wouldn't have been another driver for over 200 miles.” I laughed. “So! Where are we going?!"
"Bessemer..." Hipster chick (we’ll call her HC for short) said quietly, visibly nervous. Psh, I was the human here, what gives? I started getting a bit of a vibe, but I wasn’t sure if it was something to fear or if these gals were just first timers, causing them to be generally nervous. Something was up though. I maintained my sauve disposition, hoping to ease whatever was causing a fuss.
"Ah excellent! That's pretty close to where I was headed! Everyone ready?!" I said with as much enthusiasm as possible.
So after they all said their goodbyes, the two gals loaded their bags into the back and hopped into the SUV for the 3 and a half hour ride. The drive is very lackluster for sightseeing, but I had plenty of eye candy right in my very own vehicle. She sat as though she was wrestling with about six different emotions all at once. Poor girl looked like her skin was suffocating her. I like to think I’m pretty good at reading the room and can confidently say that I care enough about the people therein, no matter the situation. So I decided to flirt, naturally. Long ride, no decent radio stations, it’s playtime.
"I like the hipster look." I said, glancing into the rear view mirror. "It suits you."
"I... What? Hipster? You know those are fighting words down here right?" She nipped.
"Well I just meant like the glasses and the baggy shirt and the gym shorts and the Chuck Taylors..." I trailed off, partially in jest, partially in earnest.
"This is how I dress to sit in the car for 3 and a half hours. People actually dress like this on purpose and go out where you're from?" She said, sounding genuinely annoyed. Not to fret, I have plenty of time to turn this around. When I’m good and ready.
"Well, yes. A lot of people in California go through a lot of trouble and spend a lot of money to look like they bought everything they're wearing at a thrift.... store... You bought everything you're wearing at a thrift store..." Fuck, I sound elitist and the Bay Area part of my brain screamed ‘that wasn’t very cash-money of you.’
"Yes... I... did..." She replied, the anguish visibly growing.
"Oh. I'm sorry..." I apologized, feeling like the dick in the punchbowl.
"Yeah, whatever. Eyes front, Terminator." She jabbed. I have to admit, that was smooth as hell and I deserved it.
"Dang girl…” I mumbled in defeat, keeping my eyes forward. Something was up. Given, I was being pretty unprofessional for the sake of entertainment and high hopes, but this element of trepidation was definitely predisposed. I spent a lot of the better part of an hour thinking about what I can do to fix my behavior and how to make the two gals feel better. Something was screaming “trouble” the moment they got in my car and knowing that I may have aggravated the situation was making me feel tremendous guilt. I battled with my internal monologue until I saw A FUCKING SPACESHIP! I yanked the wheel of my car off the highway and pull into an apparent rest stop to check it out.
"Holy shit, it's a spaceship!" I yelled, scrambling to get out of the car. I wasn’t alone, the bodacious one followed suit so we could check it out. Hey, small things, am I right?
After taking pictures under the burners and with the shuttle in the distance, we took a pee break and were back on the road. We kept on our route for most of the trip, only stopping to eat at a Waffle House. We all had come to a mutual agreement that even if we weren’t starving, it was a situational necessity that I experience a southern crown jewel. Over our elective breakfast, Teagan and HC spoke in weird code, trying to give me names and faces without divulging what was soon to be known as an absolute shit show. They were definitely omitting and I want to believe it’s because they cared about my safety. Though, I knew better. But I did appreciate the index of who I was going to come into contact with. My best advice to you folks is to brush up on HC’s logues if you want a [full scope of the situation]
https://www.reddit.com/DrCreepensVault/comments/8zj6wo/werewolves_are_assholes/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x, for this is my telling as I saw things and boy is it muddled. Reading back, I wish I knew beforehand so that I could’ve been better help for these kids. Maybe you folks will have some helpful advice on the matter, who knows.
Not long after that, we were approaching our destination. As we rounded the last turn, there was a U-Haul rental truck parked outside of the place that was supposed to be where we were going. Odd, but I’ve seen stranger.
"Ummm, do you want me to wait for a minute? You know, just in case?" I ask, still feeling the growing element of concern for these two.
"Yeah... Yeah maybe that's probably best." HC said, her friend -my passenger known as Teagan- agreed.
As we pulled up, HC and Teagan began to approach the door. A man in all black, wearing a pair of those old timey round sunglasses exited the house, carrying with him a box of what looked like random computer and surveillance equipment as he made his way to the truck.
I was right. Something was up. HC and Teagan approached the guy, seemingly just to talk and he didn’t seem to want any part of it. I heard HC yell “Hey! Wait a goddamn minute!” Then she grabbed this dude’s arm, holding him in place and said something else. I could only hear what was yelled, so I caught virtually no dialogue between the three of them. HC’s grip gave the man pause, but he seemed relatively unfettered by it. HC, in turn, seemed to have gone from annoyed to distressed in a span of seconds. He said something and that caused HC to release the dude’s arm in haste. Damn, I really wish I could hear and get a scope of what’s happened. I then hear HC yelp “I’m sorry!” and retracted her arms behind her back. Then something happened. She was shaking. HC couldn’t contain whatever it was she was hiding during that ride. I could feel a sense of desire to flee radiating from her direction and I didn’t like it. They stood there in a cloud of discontent, when this guy takes his glasses off, revealing icy blue eyes. Definitely not human eyes. Suddenly, HC jerked her body in a 180 fashion. The dude put a notepad against her back and wrote something down. He tore off the piece of paper, handed it to HC, said a few things, then headed to his truck. Transaction completed, I assumed.
I saw HC reading the contents of the note, then watched her turn to Teagan, who was looking down at something in the grass. They exchanged a few words about it, keeping both the note and newly acquired item. These girls are fuckin trouble. I love it.
"What the hell was all that about?" I asked, not particularly worried about hiding my concern. "I had all kinds of monsters and demons and mythological beings in my back seat, but none of them gave me the bad vibes that fellow did just walking past my window." I let off an involuntary shudder, recalling the ominous nature of that fellow.
"I'm... not sure. He gave us an address though. We're supposed to go see this guy instead, I guess." She said, handing me the piece of paper.
"Hmmm. Well he's got really nice penmanship." I added.
"Do... you want us to go ahead and set a new destination in the app?" HC asked, as if it were a real option for her, which it wasn’t. Plus, I’ve grown fond of these two and I’m really invested after the dagger eyeballs incident.
"No no. It's fine. This isn't too far away. Only a few miles actually." I showed her on my phone, "See? We’re here, aaand this is Mcalla. Right next to each other. So this one is on me, ok?"
"What?! Really?! Thank you!" Bless her heart, she was too cute.
10 minutes later we were climbing out of the SUV at our new destination and saying our goodbyes.
"I'm sorry... About the terminator thing. That was too much." HC said, poor thing has been through enough, the fact that she even had an apology in her scope tells me that she’s good people. No, she’s great people.
"Oh don't worry. I've been called worse. I actually have a friend, Jim, back home who's going to love to hear that one." I reply, trying to iron out a bit of her guilt. So cute, I’m gonna die.
"Wait... The Jim with all the crazy reviews, Jim?" She asked.
"Yep! That Jim."
"Oh my god that guy is great! I want to meet him so bad!" She exclaimed.
I laugh, “Maybe you will sometime. I'm sure he'd get a kick out of the two of you.” I chortle, watching Teagan struggling with her bag. "Well then, I'll see you on my way back. Week and a half right?" I affirmed.
"Yeah, that's supposed to be about how long it's gonna take. See you then." HC replied, walking to the back of my car to grab her bag as well.
"Roger that!" I reply, putting my car in gear and getting back to my hotel. I needed a shower after that long ass ride.
Now, I know a lot of this doesn’t make sense. Personally, I still don’t really get it. I know these girls have the weight of the world on their shoulders and are harmless to me. However, something tells me that they’re quite capable of crumpling me like an empty tin can. There’s an element of nubile power behind their strides, like something tremendous has been dropped on them without direction.
I came back to my hotel room for that shower I promised myself. When I get out, I see missed calls from Jim. I called him back and we talked about his run-in with a Kitsune and a yaoguai. I’d like to remind all of you about he neglected to tell me about Lamashtu on that call! Rude! I had to find out via tense conversation with our boss. Pretty sure he broke some form of bro-code there. I think I know why he didn’t say anything though. I guess it’s along the same lines of running into an ex partner of your friend or something. Jim is mouthy, but I think subconsciously he means well.
Anyway, I didn’t have any other passengers for the week as this office is brand new. I spent a lot of time setting up an office, buying necessary company cars, general needs for an operation such as this to run smoothly. Thankfully, I’m not responsible for advertising nor hiring. Adeline has a tech team that takes care of that from their own homes, be it a studio apartment in Oakland or a cave off the coast.
The week went by very slow and I spent a lot of time in the office as well as my room. My spoiled, Bay Area ass can’t handle southern heat beyond their version of Mexican food. The only field work I’ve done has been with HC and Teagan, which I’m keeping off the books. I counted down the days until I got to see the girls again.
I get the request from Teagan, grab my coffee and head over. I waited outside and witnessed a sleepy HC being carried out on...tripods? Then some guy was on the roof in an obnoxious, black witch’s hat, yelling, “Fly, my pretties! FLY! FLY!” Yeah, I rolled up onto a horror scene in its own rite. Weirdos.
I spotted these things carrying...something else.
“Whoa! What the hell is that?!" I yelled, pointing at the mass of fur, teeth, and claws being carted along by the metallic minions.
"OOF! That would be Teagan..." HC replies, still trying to fasten herself together.
"Well... Good thing my windows are illegal level tinted." I tried to reassure.
HC really isn’t doing well. Her rigid movements looked like the result of ten lost rounds with Joe Palooka, not to mention seeing how exhausted she was to boot.
"Something happen? You look like hell." I asked.
"Oh I do? Because I-ehhhh- I feel great..." HC began, “Yeah... We had a bit of vampire drama last n- THE BODIES!" She frantically searched the yard for any sign of god knows what. That dude in a witch hat pulled a decapitated body down that had been impaled on his inappropriate architecture. He then gave us a wave as he proceeded to drag the body behind the house.
"Um... Yeah, some vampire drama last night. It got pretty rough and Teagan had to Hulk up to get us out of trouble." She finished.
"Oh my god! Are you ok?! You're not hurt are you?!" I yelled, jumping out of my car with genuine concern. There’s been an ominous aura around these gals and while nothing was deliberately alarming, not as the paranormal is considered at least, it still felt as though danger was looming. I may be overreacting, but it’s not without just cause.
"I'm fine, I'm fine." She groaned, pushing my hands away, "I'm just sore is all."
Shortly after her sad attempt at convincing me she was fine, one of those little scatter bots dropped a large, heavy weapon on her foot, causing HC to reel back in pain. HC’s response? Yelling “OWW YOU FUCK!” Then she kicks the damn thing, the robot...thingy. It’s like she took lessons in common sense from Jim. I was half expecting her to whine about needing tacos directly after.
HC drops to her knees, screaming “Oh, goddamnit!” Partially in pain, mostly from realizing that one was on her. Defeat. She experienced defeat. It was rather cute.
The metal tripod bounced a few times before righting itself, then it scurried around in a circle before making its final dash towards the house. It was then that I noticed that a few more of them were marching our way with a wooden crate, accompanied by Hep...HEP?!
"Hephaestus!” I yelled in excitement at the slim chance of running into someone I know, so far from home.
"NO! NO! What the hell are you doing here?!" Hep screamed back at me. "Does she know where I am?!"
"No, don't be silly,”I replied, “Adeline doesn't even know I'm making this stop. She is looking for you though. Hephaestus, you old softy."
"Is that what she's going by now?! Well she can keep looking! Don't you dare tell her where I am or I swear on everything you love I'll make sure you wake up every morning to that prosthetic leg kicking its way up your ass!" He scolded.
"What are you not telling us?..." HC interjected quietly. Oops, right, professional! I am a professional!
He leaned into HC’s ear to whisper something I couldn’t make out at first, then screamed, "AND STOP CALLING ME THAT!! I don't even like when she does it!" He yelled in my direction, right next to her head, causing her to flinch, "Everything you need is in that crate. Have fun." He finished before shooting me a sharp look and making his way back towards his shop, his metal tripods following close behind in single file.
Teagan and a very rattled HC crawled into my back seat, ready for a drive. As soon as HC hit the seat, she passed out. I couldn’t tell if she fainted or if she was as exhausted as she looked. Neither of those possibilities were comforting, but it’s not like she wasn’t safe, so I didn’t fuss over it. Teagan seemed really unfettered by HC conking out, which helped me relax. I didn’t feel it was polite to ask what was up and I thought it was even more inappropriate for someone else to speak on her behalf, so I just did what I do best. Drove.
We pull into the driveway and I watch some people dart into the house upon our arrival. Maybe this was the trouble I was anticipating, "Hey... HEY. Your friends all just ran back into the house when they saw me pull in. I think something might be up." I said, shaking HC awake.
"W-what do you mean someth- THOSE SONS A BITCHES!! I knew they were hiding something!" HC yelled, snapping into an upright position, which made Teagan and I jump. This girl is going to give me a damn heart attack, she has absolutely no chill.
Pushing the SUV's door open, HC jumped out and started to make a mad dash for the front door. "Teagan grab the bags and shit!" HC started, "Umm... Ok wait. Maybe you might want to pull up a bit closer so she can get inside a bit quicker!" HC barked at me.
I pulled up closer, jumped out, making my way to the front door while HC managed to dramatically kick it down, screaming something about Mark.
"I said did you assholes kidnap Mark?!" HC yelled to a room of people, seemingly unfettered by her theatrics.
"Who's Mark?" I asked, looking around for a place to lay Teagan down.
"The mark." She answered, Milo still dangling from her hand.
"The who? I... What are you saying to me?" I replied.
"Well it's funny you should ask. You see, these fuckwits!" She exclaimed, using Milo as a pointer to gesture the rest of the room's occupants, "Were supposed to be running a con on this guy, Mark, while me and Teagan were shacked up with that mad scientist getting the weapons made." She explained, shooting a dagger cloaked glance at everyone. Goddamnit, I just drive. How did this turn into cons and scavenger hunts?
"FOR FUCK SAKE IF SOMEONE IS OUT THERE PLEASE HELP ME!!" A voice sliced through the tension.
"Oh my god... Did you guys really kidnap somebody?" I asked, not sure who the bad guys are anymore. For all I know, I could be assisting a heist to criminals and human law doesn’t care for that, let alone paranormal code. Fuck my life.
"It's starting to look that way." HC growled, making her way towards the garage, dragging Milo along the floor behind her. We all started to scurry and follow her as she stomped through the house and snatched open the garage door to reveal a man bound to one of the steel support beams by a bike lock, looped around his neck. "Oh now what in the god damn Breaking Bad hell is this shit?!" HC screamed at everyone.
"OH THANK GOD! You, girl! Please get me out this! I won't tell anyone anything I swear! Just let me go!" The dude begged as soon as he saw HC.
"Oh wow... You guys really kidnapped someone..." I chimed, dragging Teagan along to congregate over their hostage.
"ALRIGHT LOOK!" Milo shouted, standing up off the floor and straightening his shirt. "I tried it the way we planned ok?! He was just smarter than we all thought. My facade was seamless, but he saw through it."
"No it wasn't." Dude said from his pole in the garage. "I was onto him after like a day. He's the worst actor I've ever seen."
"You shut your liar mouth!" Milo shouted, trying to make his way around HC to get to...Mark? I’m assuming, without formal introduction and the topical frantic nature of everyone that this was Mark. “Just admit that I had you fooled!"
"You literally asked me where the vampires hide out like 6 hours after we met. How stupid can you be?” Mark snickered. "If you were smart, you would have tried to befriend me slowly and gradually hint at wanting to get in on something more profitable and off the books. Dipshit."
"Oh dear god..." HC sighed, rubbing her temples, "None of you here were watching him or giving him advice or anything?"
"Well none of us have exactly ran a con before!" Dex responded.
"Hey! Don't look at me!" Gay Jake said, HC shooting her rage in his direction. "I'm just the sugar daddy here. I ain't these little hooligans' babysitter."
"Ugh... Jesus Christ. Ok... Well have you at least got anything out of him yet?" HC asked.
"Not exactly." Lesley answered. "He hasn't been very cooperative since he got here."
"I suggested we don't feed him and then when he gets hungry enough, he'll tell us something, but uhh, what's her face, the short one," Milo said, pointing at Joannah. "She said 'Oh we can't do that! It's torture. Durdurdur' Or whatever." I had to keep a chuckle pushed down. I didn’t want to aggravate the situation, but this was about as smooth as stucco and it was hilarious.
"Because it is torture, you unbearable ass!" Joannah yelled back at Milo, swatting his hand away.
"Oh dear lord child, I've been dealing with this ever since you left." Gay Jake complained to HC. "They been at each others' throats 24/7 and my anxiety medication is runnin way too low for any more of their shit." He said, pulling Joannah away from Milo and positioning her at the other side of the room where we had gathered and were now staring into the garage.
"So we don't know anyth-" HC started but was interrupted by Mark yelling over me.
"So are you going to let me out or what?!" He screamed desperately.
"Hey! Shut it! One more word and I feed you to Teagan." HC replied.
"I- Who's- What's a Teagan?" He asked nervously.
Teagan raised her chimaera riddled head on queue, sending Mark into hysterics, "AHHHH! What the fuck is that?! What the BLEHAGA!!" Mark gagged, managing to choke himself out on a bike lock. Fight or flight doesn’t care about the logic of being restrained, it does what it wants.
Everyone took a moment to giggle a bit as Mark sat, resting against the pole trying to catch his breath. I remained quiet, absorbing the situation.
“Yeah he hasn't said a word that wasn't him complaining about something." Milo said. "Every single one of us took turns questioning him but he'd just belch in our face or pull his pants down and shit on the floor while we were talking." He added and everyone murmured in agreement, sharing their own personal Mark interrogation horror story. The personal constitution of each individual in this room was strong with notes of defeat and frustration. I had a hard time believing these kids were bad in nature, what with the fumbled execution of literally everything they did. This didn’t bring me a great deal of comfort, as local law enforcement doesn’t care if someone’s heart is in the right place while breaking the law. With the rate they were going, I was shocked that no one had busted the door down to make arrests already. Even with this situation gnawing at me, I maintained an element of confidence as best as I could.
"Maybe if I give it a try he'll-" HC started, before Mark cut her off with,
"I'm not telling you shit about shit so, you might as well let me go you dumb c***!"
"Mhmmm... Ok guys, I'm gonna need just a minute here with our guest." HC says, “Just... One... Minute..." She shuts the door to the garage, closing herself in with Mark. Great, as if I hadn’t had my fair share of conspiratorial involvement, why not add murder to it too. The least they could do was offer a spliff. Terrible hosts, really.
The next two minutes were a bit of a blur. We all kept silent, knowing damn well it was best to stay out of it. First I heard HC say “You like Mother Goose?” as if she was right next to the door. After a brief pause, I could still faintly hear her say “Mother Goose. You know, the nursery rhymes?” With a sense of tasteful arrogance. I was rooting for her. Mark is a douche.
I could hear Mark frantically shouting, but still, we all stayed put. You could tell that everyone was nervous, no matter how great our poker faces were.
Out of nowhere, you could hear Mark yelp, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT LADY!!" Causing every last one of us to jump. We listened like cats on a ceiling. There was another lull, which only made me feel like I was playing a game of Russian roulette. Any moment now.
A wet, squelching sound pierced the air, followed by Mark screaming. As I sat with Teagan, the others bolted to the door, slamming their fists and pleading with HC. If he’s still able to scream, then she’s not finished with him, I say put. Call me callous, call me cruel, but not even Jim can place himself atop the throne of “biggest dumbass” after this guy. Jim, if you’re reading this, please learn from some other poor bastard’s mistakes, just this once?
There was another low hum of conversation, not audible enough for us to hear. About five minutes after, HC came through the door, blood on her face. I’ll give you one shot as to whose blood you think it might be. Everyone darted into the garage behind HC to assess the mess.
HC calmly spoke, “You can leave after we get our bags and box from your car.” I nodded, proudly.
We scooped Teagan up and carried her upstairs to her room. Once we settled the broken one into her bed, HC and I made our way down to my car and collected the remainder of their things. We didn’t speak. We didn’t need to. There’s a sense of comradery when you learn through someone else’s actions just how similar you are. HC was about as defenseless as a puma, but as graceful as a horse in roller skates. Strong, brave, accountable, but really fucking clumsy in the logic department. Someone will have to atone for this strange endeavor, but I pity the soul that tries to come down on HC. She’s the last person anyone should ever corner and I hope this won’t be the last time I see her.
In the middle of wrestling with my thoughts, Joannah comes screaming at HC, "HE SAID YOU ATE HIS FINGER!"
"Slanderous lies." HC smiles sheepishly.
"He said you ate his finger!" Milo said, retrieving a first aid kit from the kitchen cabinet. "Nice!" He added, giving HC thumbs up, causing him to fumble the kit across the living room floor. Yeah, none of us really disagreed with that decision. He’s lucky the finger was the chosen appendage.
HC placed a heavy, pine box onto the couch and said to me, "Ok, you can hit the road now if you want, or stay and rest for a while if you prefer."
"Um... I appreciate that. But I think I might want to make my way out of the hostage situation as soon as possible."I said, grateful that this didn’t turn into a murder situation, though I would’ve understood, "But can I maybe say goodbye to Teagan before I go?" I asked, feeling a lump in my throat.
"I think she'd like that very much." HC answered, leading me upstairs.
Milo was already on the bed next to her, both arms around her hairy shoulders, comforting her as she breathed heavily, as if she were exhausted and trying to catcher her breath. I walked over, embracing them both in a weird, spooky boi cuddle puddle and whisper, "It was so nice to meet you. I hope I see you again sometime when you feel better."
As we walked to my car we stopped next to Gay Jake on the way out. "Teagan's phone got the fair notification but it should pop up on your email in your recent charges."i said, waving her phone with the Cerber app open on the screen. "The return trip was on me so that should help with the cost a lot." I was having the hardest time leaving them behind. The tension was always high, but I’m walking away from a sense of unity that will inspire me for years to come.
"Oh honey, that shouldn't be a problem. You just go on and get yourself home safe now ya hear." He said as he pulled out his own phone and started checking his emails. HC and I said a very awkward goodbye, both of us seemed to have been sad and both of us also understood that making a big deal about it would just make us feel icky.
I got in my car and punched in my coordinates for my next stop; the airport. As I was adding the location, I heard Gay Jake scream, “WHAT?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! HOW MUCH?! Oh god I think I'm going to throw up. Girl hold onto me my legs are going numb." My mouth kicked up a sly smile, releasing a chuckle. Serves you right. Werewolves are assholes.
submitted by It takes a special kind of crazy to make it as a professional athlete.
I wish there was a better way to phrase that. Because I’m really underselling crazy here. Professional athletics have every possible type of insane maniac you could imagine.
Doc Ellis threw a no-hitter tripping balls on LSD. Mike Tyson bit off a dudes ear. Brett Favre wears crocs… for one, and Tiger Woods was shooting for anything under a 5 once he stepped off the green and into the closest Houlihan's.
You've got Bo Jackson crazy; he did it all just because it was easy. You've got Kobe Bryant crazy; he’s got the sleep schedule of a meth addict and the work ethic of a Grand Canyon pack mule.
But then you have Gilbert Arenas crazy. Arenas, long known in NBA circles as one of the more... charismatic personalities in the league, he is at this point probably best remembered for a Christmas Eve indecent during which he and then Wizard's teammate Javaris Crittenton brandished firearms at one another in the team locker room over gambling debts.
So, remember when I said that pro athletics has every kind of crazy? It was like fifteen seconds ago. Well, apparently, Javaris Crittenton is the kind of crazy that is currently spending 23 years in federal prison for shooting and killing an innocent woman and conspiring to traffic multiple kilos of cocaine and several hundred pounds of marijuana with intent to distribute.
That's not Gilbert Arenas crazy.
Gilbert Arenas is a bird of a far different feather. By no means is he murderous or even mean spirited. He’s just eccentric. Honestly, if I were on a jury and were read the list of things Arenas has reportedly done over the years, I'd vote "not guilty" based solely on the idea that this dude has absolutely no idea what he is doing ever.
Arenas reportedly once ate 12 cheeseburgers completely unprompted on an away trip. He has 5 children with 2 wives, BOTH featured on VH1's
Basketball Wives LA. He was recently arrested in California with a truck full of illegal fireworks. Boston Market before every game, Video poker at most halftimes. There are plenty of types of crazy, but Gilbert Arenas made sure to trademark his own special brand.
One of the most incredible things about basketball is its ability to display distinct personality traits inside the confines of the game. You could learn more about your favorite player watching his highlights on mute than having a five minute conversation with the man himself. In case you weren't in the mood for guesswork, Gilbert Arenas is not an exception to the trend.
Arenas on the court was as electric as he was unpredictable. Dubbed Agent Zero in reference to the number he donned throughout his career. His stardom burned short and bright for a few years in the 2000's. Gilbert was explosive, and seemed often times like he could score at will. He was thicker than a prison wall yet could transform from a running back to a ballerina in the blink of an eye thanks to his ridiculous body control and focus. Arenas had a three point shot that needed to be respected, but given an inch of lateral space he would already be on his way to the rim.
But Agent Zero's most elite talent was intangible. Gilbert was said to know his way around a poker deck, best believe you could
always count on him to bring the wild card to the table. The defender, the fans, the coaches, hell, I don't even think Arenas knew what he was going to do when he got the rock. Then again, that's kind of what you'd expect from a man who’d claimed to have run over 60 red lights over a four month span in 2013.
But on December 17th, 2006, that chaos met calculation. Two of the games most dominant guards in their prime, so fundamentally different. Kobe Bryant, product of the Zen Master. An impassioned assassin with an unquenchable thirst for victory. Bryant may as well have had the Lakers' gameplan memorized in six languages every night. Cool, collected, and crazy.
Gilbert Arenas, a reckless ball of energy who scored efficiently despite all traditional logic. Shouting "Hibachi!" after shots and voting for himself on all star ballots, Arenas was a different species than the the businesslike Bryant. Unpredictable, uncontrollable, and undoubtedly just as crazy.
6:30 PM in the town that raised Gilbert. Los Angeles. The Lakers in their classic whites, The Wizards in their unusual metallic
gold uniforms, and they were the least jarring contrast of the night.
True to form, Gilbert Arenas fired out of the tunnel like a cannonball. Kobe Bryant would sit back on his heels and await his moment. In so many ways these two were similar. Dominant athletes, a knack for scoring and a love of the biggest moments. But a man's soul can't be left in the locker room, and there are few better examples than the clashing styles these two brought to the hardwood night after night.
Zero in gold flexed early, showcasing the combination of speed,
control, fearlessness,
strength and touch that helped the then 24 year old do-it-all guard chase the scoring title through the middle of the decade.
In fact, the whole first quarter belonged to Arenas. Aside from a pair of free throws, a few rebounds and a missed 23 footer, Kobe seemed to content with letting the Washington star control the pace. It's funny to think about. One of the most baffling mental players in the history of pro basketball was just as predictable as he was incalculable. But after watching that lofty
easygoing release hit paydirt a few times early, all you could do was laugh at any teammate who dared give Agent Zero that little, "I'm open" wave.
It was Hibachi time. Throwing in a few
"I guess technically I'm rostered as a point guard" assists, Gilbert would finish off the final ten seconds of the first quarter with an isolation. He'd proceed bury a 22 foot jumper
just inside the three point line. I would not have guessed the guy who once accidentally showered with his uniform on at halftime occasionally has issues with awareness.
After the first break it was Kobe's turn. It watched like a debate. Mr. Arenas you have the floor- all the while Kobe respectfully awaits his turn. The second quarter began and suddenly Bryant
enlightened the Staples Center to his
own argument. Never the silent type, Arenas barked a few free throws here and there while number 24 in white so formally made his case.
By the book. But just when the differences between Bryant and Arenas seemed so great that it was near time to chalk the two up as different animals, time winding down in the half, Bryant called for an isolation, and
proved he and Arenas the
same beast.
In the third, Bryant's hot shooting streak would continue, stretching back beyond the three point line. The scorer's style proved to be almost comically different from his that of his opponent's. All
four of
Kobe's third quarter
three pointers came without a single dribble, while Arenas found himself in for just as many attempts at the free throw line. Gilbert preferred to blaze his own path with respect to the deep ball. Of course, with less than a minute left in the quarter, who was he to
break the tradition of isolation? As if the moderator had passed the mic for a lightning round, Agent Zero flew out of the gate at the beginning of the final frame, hitting a
deep three, along with two
tough buckets before two minutes had passed in the period.
Then, by the work of some sort of reciprocal dark wizardry that I literally couldn't make up if I tried, Kobe Bryant had the ball in his hands as the clock wound down to the final two minutes. The Black Mamba would
glide past the defense for three straight
layups, including an
and-one off of a jump ball with 25 seconds remaining to pull within 2 salvaging hope of victory.
With all due respect to Brian Cook, I am going to completely ignore his game tying shot and jump right to overtime. This decision was not made lightly, and I'm sure if Brian calls me at the right time from his locker over with the Japanese Basketball League (even though he signed a month and a half ago and they have yet to add him to the roster), he'd agree that watching Gilbert Arenas go batshit crazy during overtime was well worth the enormous amount of time it would have taken me to link in his shot... He would probably find this paragraph's benefit to be somewhat of a fallacy however... due to its length... because that was the issue keeping his shot from making the cut... and now the paragraph has
run hopelessly out of control.
Speaking of time, 5 minutes is very little of it. It's just about long enough to let pretty much any NBA overtime game go one of two ways. One- the fans stay engaged in a battle throughout the whole of free basketball. Or, two- one of the teams pulls ahead immediately, quickly demoralizing the other team and pretty much leaving all of us with two and a half minutes of relatively lifeless fouling and pouting.
Gilbert Arenas did things. Things few in the history of the game have been able to do, and one thing no one has done. He kept everyone engaged, en route to his career high 60 points. He put the Lakers away in OT with a combination of clutch scoring and
deadeye focus. That, aaaaand he scored 16 points in the overtime period, setting the NBA record. When your side of the play-by-play looks something like
this, you're probably doing something pretty interesting.
Kobe, 45 points, 10 assists and 8 boards to his name, could do nothing as he watched his attempts to stop Arenas fall flat
again and
again. Arenas'
sublime confidence shone through. An entire audience floored at the notion of knowing exactly what the man in gold was going to do, and
having no idea simultaneously.
8 rebounds, 8 assists, and 60 points- 16 in overtime. It was the most highly powered single man exhibition in the history of free NBA basketball, against one of the greatest late game performers of all time. It was like watching a tsunami wash away a suspension bridge. Engineered for years, crafted and tuned to perfection, yet when nature decided to rear its head, none of the time-hardened concrete in the world could stop it.
It was a random Sunday game in December. But not for Gilbert Arenas and Kobe Bryant it wasn't. For these two elite scorers, this game meant something. 82 games is a long haul, and one tough overtime loss isn't something to worry much about. But for these two it was.
For every difference between them, Bryant and Arenas found a way to accomplish many of the same things. Two opposite sides of the spectrum, two wildly different kinds of the insanity that make pro athletes who they are.
Kobe Bryant has had many special nights. He's been a spokesman, a salesman, and a captain. He's been All-Star, an MVP, and an Olympian. But on December 17th, 2006? Kobe Bryant wasn't Gilbert Arenas crazy, and that night, that's what it took to be a winner.
Edit: If the formatting is fucked I'm sorry idk what happened. The link in the comments has another version if you need it.
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